Can’t find anything that’s just right? Maybe you’ve seen or heard vows that you like certain parts of. Have you ever thought of writing your own vows? Putting your thoughts and feelings on paper is an emotional, eye-opening and often extremely memorable experience.

Follow these steps and you’ll be surprised to find that writing your own vows isn’t as hard as it sounds. You’ll end up with vows that let everyone know exactly how you feel and I guarantee they’ll be unique.

1. Make sure that your partner also wants to write their own vows. While you’re at it, decide together whether you want to write one wedding vow that you will both say, or whether you want to write individually.

2. Answer some simple questions. Sit down in a quiet space with paper and pen and answer these questions. Even if you don’t think the answer will end up in your wedding vows, still take the time to write it down. It may help you in the long run. If you encounter writer’s block, take a break.

• What do you really love about this person? Sense of humour, kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity, etc.
• What do you see in your future? Growing old together, watching children/grandchildren grow up, etc.
• What do you look forward to doing? Sharing thoughts, laughter, being lifelong companions, etc.
• Was it love at first sight? “When I first saw you at the coffee shop, I knew you were the one.”

3. Add some vows and promises.

• Share the good and the bad parts of life together
• Love, honour, respect and cherish each other
• Respect the individuality of each other
• Be kind, trusting, tolerant and understanding
• Be honest and faithful
• Stay together for life
• Bring happiness and laughter into the marriage
• Be a good friend

4. Take your time. The longer you have to have to write your vows, the easier it is. It may take you a few weeks to write down how you’re feeling or, once you make a start, you may have it written in 10 minutes.

5. Go to the library or search the net. Look for books on wedding vows. You’ll also be surprised how much information you can find on the internet.

6. Mix and match. Write down all the good vows you’ve found, written or heard and put them all together. Swap them around, add and delete some wording and, basically, ‘play around’ with it until you get exactly the vows you want. Remember, there are no rules when it comes to writing your own vows. Just be careful, though, that you don’t embarrass anyone with any intimate details or bore your guests with a lengthy monologue.